Sunday, February 19, 2017

What to Do When You Discover Mahershala Ali is Married

A few weeks ago, my friend texted me, “How do we get to know Mahershala Ali?” in equal parts seriousness and fantasy, followed by “do we know what his relationship status is.” Editor’s note: For the uninitiated, Mahershala Ali is the “it” actor in Hollywood at the moment and the favorite for the best supporting actor Oscar for his role in Moonlight. Not to mention, he’s simply a beautiful specimen. Cue our mutual disappointment to discover that he’s married. This discovery shattered my worldview in which everyone is single and therefore fair game.

Cute guy at the bar? Breakout star in that new film? Single AF. But let me be clear. This world only exists in my head. In reality, people are in various states of partnership -engaged, married, with child(ren). But accepting this fact would deny myself the pleasure of engaging in typical girl delusion: projecting delirious happiness together and a future of love, sex and beautiful babies.  Not to mention face the fact that just because I'm 24 and single that everyone else is too.

Once confronted with the reality that a crush is off limits, I react in one of two ways: picking apart the significant other’s superficial deficiencies (otherwise known as hating) or deciding that they’re perfect for each other and if it can’t be me, I’m glad it’s her. That’s normal, right?

Turns out it might be... just hear me out. It seems safe to say that fundamentally everyone agrees with equality of opportunity. Simply by nature of meeting someone in a committed relationship, you can argue that you’ve been denied the same opportunity to get to know said crush. In layman’s terms, once Nick Viall showed up on Kaityln’s season of the Bachelorette, the guys felt threatened by his preexisting relationship with her. This reaction, while just, serves as a self-defense mechanism from rejection. There's a reason, "There wasn’t anything wrong with me because she never got the opportunity to know me," is the most common refrain from the dejected.

So Mahershala, let’s just assume that we could have been great.


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